Botswana Census 2011

Yesterday I got interviewed as part of the national Census.

The interview was short, took 20 minutes. I have never been interviewed by the census bureau in the states, but I'm pretty sure, they don't ask the questions that I was asked yesterday. My interviewer was a very kind polite guy named John.

He started off with basic questions:
Who is the person residing here? What is their full name? Age? Gender? Place of Birth? Country of current residence (clearly Botswana)? Marital Status? Religion? What language is primarily spoken at home?

We continued on. Some of the questions, I'm sure, make me sound retarded, especially according to this country's standards. While he was sitting in my living room asking the questions, he kept asking them in third person.

Q: Does this Kelly have a paid job?
A: No

Q: If Kelly does not have a paying job, what does Kelly do during the day?
A: Work as a volunteer. Yes I work all day, but don't get paid. Does that make any sense?
Q.Did Kelly receive any income or money from any other piece jobs in the last 7 days?
A. No

Then John prefaced that we will be moving on to much more personal questions that may be of sensitive matter.

Q. How many children does Kelly have, alive or deceased, from any spouse etc...
A. 0
Q. Really?
A. Yep.
My answer eliminated a whole slew of questions following.

More interesting questions. As he was sitting across from me in my sitting room. (Just a selection)
Q. What type of house does Kelly reside in?
A. I don’t know, a flat? We’re sitting in it right now. What would you consider this?
….John takes some time to search on his checklist for the appropriate option….
Q. What are Kelly’s hallways made of?
A. I have no clue. It must be concrete because it is so cold.
Q. What are Kelly’s floors made of?
A. Plastic Tiles?
….John takes some time to search on his checklist for the appropriate option….
Q. What is Kelly’s roof made of?
A. Since I live on the first floor, as you see, I don’t have one.
….John takes some time to search on his checklist for the appropriate option….
(no roof eh? I seem to be in a worse position than someone with a thatched hut)

Q. Does Kelly own any of the following?
A cow? – No
Goat? – No
Sheep? – No
Pig? – No
Horse? – No
Donkey? – No
Chicken? – No
Turkey? – No
Ostrich? – No

Q. Does Kelly plant any of the following? Maize, sorghum, wheat, pumpkins, squash etc…
A. No…No…No…
Q. Do you have any land or access to a plot where Kelly can plant?
A. No.

Q. Does Kelly own any of the following? A car, truck?
A. No.
Q. …A tractor? Donkey cart?...
A. I’m really tempted to say donkey cart, but I don’t own any donkeys. So No.

Ok that’s all. That concludes our survey. Thank you for participating!

It was a fun experience. John was very nice, and of course, wants to come and visit the States sometime. According to this country, I am of the lowest social class, poor, single, with no kids. I don’t own any land, vehicle, livestock, or even have a roof over my head or even a donkey cart, and absolutely no income.